It all started because of a simple mistake, a tiny little oversight. I needed feta cheese for the salad I was making. I had no feta cheese. A pot of water was coming to a boil on the stove. I ran out of the apartment, leaving the stove on, sure I'd come home to an apartment either burned down or, like, covered in hot water? I'm not sure what the worst that can happen to over-boiled water is.
It's August. If you are reading this it is because you are stuck at work while your friends are off at their "lake houses" and "beach trips." The news, domestic and international, is awful. You need to relax. You need a cool beverage to relax. Allow me to suggest that the optimal beverage is a lemon rosemary vodka fizz.
"Crab boils date back centuries on the Chesapeake Bay," write the people who are selling "crab boil" events—for $67—in New York City. These people are frauds and liars, selling ersatz "authenticity," pretentious unpretentiousness, a twee New York fabrication that has nothing to do with the tradition it wishes to evoke.
America's premier rural community newspaper, the New York Times, has front-page coverage today of a trend that is roiling the countryside: the use of picturesque old wooden barns as rental spaces for folksy unpretentious rustic-themed weddings. Those weddings are loud! Country folk aren't accustomed to the hurly-burly of crowds and amplified music every weekend:
Here is an explanation, from the New York Times, of why a family of five—having bought a Brooklyn townhouse for $1.7 million, renovated it top to bottom for an undisclosed amount of money, and seen it burn down in a construction accident at the very moment of completion—decided it would be necessary, as a next step, to go shopping "in the $4 million range" for a roomy apartment in downtown Manhattan:
There is a fair chance that if you're reading this post, your fridge—the most-used and largest appliance in your house—is screwing you. The refrigerator is as potent a symbol of American consumerist culture as you're likely to find, which is to say, it only makes sense if you don't really look at it very hard. It is, for many people, a waste of space, a waste of money, a drain on the environment, and an enabler of obesity.