How to Dress Your Baby for Halloween

It's Halloween and you're a proud new parent. Though you're excited to dress up your new little friend, you might have a few questions concerning costume choice. What is appropriate? Can I dress my baby like a murderer? What if it's a murderer from television or a movie, can I dress my baby like a murderer then?
Hush, don't worry about it! We've put together a helpful guide to help you steer clear of bad costume choices and get your baby cute and ready for showing off this Halloween.
Bad Baby Costume: Rand Paul
Behold, baby Rand Paul #HappyHalloween pic.twitter.com/mU5GRgSp51
— Senator Rand Paul (@SenRandPaul) October 31, 2014
Good Baby Costume: A Pumpkin

Why would you dress your baby as a polarizing figure like Rand Paul? "Because his hair is messy and looks like it might fall out" is not a good enough excuse. Babies are not antagonizing. You know what else is not antagonizing? A jolly little jack o'lantern.
Bad Baby Costume: Pot Leaf

Good Baby Costume: A Pumpkin
It's Pumpkin Baby season😻🎃👶😻 pic.twitter.com/xLtMPAkdRk
— Adelle (@adelle32197) October 1, 2014
"Who's that cute baby in the pumpkin costume?" a friendly stranger might ask. Oh, that's my baby. "Well, you dressed either him or her perfectly. I'm so happy you didn't dress him or her like a pot leaf, that would have been selfish, ridiculous, and clearly representative of how ill-prepared you are for this job. I love the pumpkin. "
Bad Baby Costume: Walter White
Baby Walt is amazing, my kids are so being dressed like this #breakingbad #babyhalloweencostume pic.twitter.com/ahFrtgcQQK
— Amelia Townley (@AmeliaTownley) October 28, 2014
Good Baby Costume: A Pumpkin

A nice way to keep from dressing your baby like a drug-dealing murderer your baby has never even heard of is to dress her like a sweet, little pumpkin.
Bad Baby Costume: Ruth Baby Ginsberg
Ruth Baby Ginsberg wins Halloween, so stop trying. (h/t @NaamaHaviv) pic.twitter.com/T9ETbhL025
— Taffy BrodesserAkner (@taffyakner) October 31, 2014
Good Baby Costume: A Pumpkin

[image via Shutterstock]
Yes, your wrinkly, little baby has a number of things in common with an old person. You know what else your round, sweet baby has a number of things in common with? A pumpkin.
Bad Baby Costume: A Cigarette

Good Baby Costume: A Pumpkin

The reason we all have baby pictures of ourselves dressed as pumpkins is because it is the correct outfit to put on a baby for Halloween. The reason you don't see a lot of babies dressed as cigarettes is because that is the wrong outfit to put on a baby for Halloween.
Bad Baby Costume: A Pimp

Good Baby Costume: A Pumpkin

Your baby is not in the business of being a predatory middleman in the sex trade. Your baby is in the business of being a baby. Or, today, being a pumpkin.
Bad Baby Costume: Bane
Baby's 1st Happy Halloween pic.twitter.com/zWXEdjNrDG
— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) October 31, 2014
Good Baby Costume: A Pumpkin

Don't dress your baby like fucking Bane, you lunatic. Dress your baby like a pumpkin.