How Soon Will You Die in a Fire at Your Rustic Barn Wedding?

America's premier rural community newspaper, the New York Times, has front-page coverage today of a trend that is roiling the countryside: the use of picturesque old wooden barns as rental spaces for folksy unpretentious rustic-themed weddings. Those weddings are loud! Country folk aren't accustomed to the hurly-burly of crowds and amplified music every weekend:

"They blare music all night long, they have college students out there screaming, and everyone's drinking," said Laurie Tulchin, who lives in a rural part of Iowa City next door to a wedding barn. "Rural residents have quiet lifestyles. Sometimes I just think, 'What the heck happened out here?' "

But these boozy hoedowns may eventually take care of themselves. Consider this:

Unlike other businesses, the barns are often not inspected to ensure that they are up to code, and many lack proper sanitation, fire doors and sprinklers, accommodations for people with disabilities and licenses to serve liquor.

And this:

Pinterest boards and rusticweddingchic.com suggest adding touches like sofas made of hay bales and wine bottles repurposed as candle holders.

Public-service announcement for Pinterest users: Not every feature of rusticity is meant to mix with every other feature of rusticity. Candles plus hay bales plus alcohol minus sprinklers equals an event the neighbors will really never forget.

[Image via AP]