This is fucking madness: after Hershey, Inc. declared that they would be imposing a ban on chocolate imports from England to the US, necessary steps had to be taken to fight for our right to eat high-fat-content chocolate that doesn't taste like melted tires. A #BoycottHershey movement has begun.
As a result of a settlement with the Hershey's Company, Let's Buy British Imports, or L.B.B., agreed this week to stop importing all Cadbury's chocolate made overseas. The company also agreed to halt imports on KitKat bars made in Britain; Toffee Crisps, which, because of their orange packaging, and yellow-lined brown script, too closely resemble Reese's Peanut Butter Cups; Yorkie chocolate bars, which infringe on the York peppermint patty; and Ms. Perry's beloved Maltesers.
The Ms. Perry the Times is referring to is the fiery NYC business owner who has become de facto representative of the How Could You Do This To Us outrage. Perry, who owns three Anglophilic businesses in Manhattan, has been outspoken about the ban and how it will not only affect her business, but her appetite for chocolate, as well. From Tea & Sympathy's Facebook page:
They want us to sell their dreadful Cadbury approximation but we can't in good conscience sell you such awful chocolate when we have made our reputation on selling you the yummy real English stuff.
The Cadbury that Americans get in the U.S. is manufactured by Hershey, and tastes like piss molded into bricks. In response to Hershey's lawsuit, a MoveOn.org petition to reverse the ban was started and has received over 15,000 signatures.
Fans of the good stuff have taken to Twitter to sound off on the import ban, encouraging chocolate eaters in America to #BoycottHershey.
#boycotthershey? What's the point? Anyone who eats Cadburys already doesn't eat Hershey's (because it tastes like stomach bile)
— Ross McDonagh (@rossvsross) January 27, 2015
If people have to important chocolate because they don't like yours, perhaps you should make a better product? #boycotthershey— Chris Campbell (@Bulk_Nasty) January 27, 2015
— Eliott C. McLaughlin (@furlinedPumas) January 27, 2015
The writer of this story tried to order a case of Cadbury Creme Eggs on Amazon.com just this morning but only found consumer complaints that the Eggs shipped to them were made by Hershey.
What is to be done?
[Image via AP]