Don't Mess With My Bacon, Egg, and Cheese

A bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich can be many things: good, bad, cheap, expensive, readily available, rare, redemptive, a thing to argue about endlessly with respected colleagues. It is not, however, a “secret handshake that New Yorkers exchange” or anything else that Pete Wells describes it as in his recent… » 4/14/15 7:56pm Tuesday 7:56pm

Can You Taste the Difference Between Banned U.K. Cadbury and Hershey's?

As we've tirelessly covered this year, Hershey, Inc. decided to yank the fun from Easter by suing a company responsible for importing British Cadbury chocolate into the United States. Why buy real Cadbury—creamy, smooth, delicious—when you could have Cadbury made by Hershey—acrid, sour, gritty, and painfully… » 2/26/15 2:25pm 2/26/15 2:25pm

There Should Be Two Lines at Bars: a Manifesto

As people waste our time debating how much to tip baristas (the correct amount: the small pile of coins they give back to you after your transaction is complete) and bartenders ($1 per drink), a second, much more significant beverage problem has once again been overlooked: the frustrating delays caused by people who… » 2/09/15 9:33am 2/09/15 9:33am

The Only Tinder Opening Line You Need

A few years ago, a college friend described to me his experience on Tinder. The service was already popular by then, but it hadn't yet become synonymous with sleazy come-ons and predatory male speech patterns. This friend—a plucky yuppie with a positive outlook and the face of an old baby—was finishing a graduate… » 2/02/15 4:00pm 2/02/15 4:00pm

British Import Ban Emboldens American Chocoholics to Boycott Hershey

This is fucking madness: after Hershey, Inc. declared that they would be imposing a ban on chocolate imports from England to the US, necessary steps had to be taken to fight for our right to eat high-fat-content chocolate that doesn't taste like melted tires. A #BoycottHershey movement has begun. » 1/27/15 12:45pm 1/27/15 12:45pm

Wack Haters in French Court Bar Parents From Naming Daughter Nutella

Nutella, a European hazelnut chocolate spread, is acknowledged to be unequivocally delicious, and its alleged "backlash" has only been written about by sanctimonious health freaks. Should you be able to name your daughter after Nutella in honor of its tastiness? Yes, if you so choose. » 1/26/15 11:35am 1/26/15 11:35am